ABOUT ME

My Story

How We Got Here

 

My life is a massive timeline of events that went average, really bad, and really good sometimes; well, really bad was the starring character in this three-way relationship.

 

Childhood: the basketball court head who was genuinly happy

 

 

I had a pretty normal childhood, I was born in the Dominican Republic in an upper middle-class family, with several game consoles and a lot of free time,

 

The first time i can relate to how i really cared about relationships in my life was when I was 5 years old, when I started primary school.

 

As you can guess, with no real-life experience with social skills in my life, I was at square one about social skills, not to mention that I was a ball-headed Chinese kid. 

 

I was the most disciplined boy in the class, not because of my lack of desire to do what other boys did at the time.

 

But because of my social anxiety.

 

I remember how all the guys got called out several times a day because of “Bad” Behaviour (which in school is being a normal kid).

 

They used to call out all the boys except me, the well behaved, educated, and silent kid.

 

Now I realize how school rewards shy kids and gets them into this positive feedback loop as a result of their shyness.

 

That lead me into a really good relationship with my teachers and parents, but not with my classmates.

 

Growing up being the “Awkard kid”

 

So if you were the awkward kid in school, you should already know what this is all about.

 

You are that one fat, shy, weak, and submissive kid who everyone made fun of. You sit alone at lunch, you have severe anxiety about waiting for the lunchbreak ring because you know that you dont have someone to play with, to sit with, and another day of awkwardness and being in your head awaits you.

 

However, I made some friends at middle school, and it wasn’t a big deal.

 

I remember how I was really self-centered and i loved playing videogames and watching tv, it was the biggest escape i had from the difficult feelings i was feeling back then.

 

Teenage years, loneliness, depression, and where it all started.

 

This is the most difficult chapter to write on this story because its really difficult to feel these emotions again.

 

My life changed when I changed schools in my freshmen year of highschool.

 

In case you haven’t been in the dominican republic before, let me tell you something straight away.

 

The country is a small city, yes, the whole country.

 

So you can imagine that everyone knew each other’s mom and shit.

 

All my classmates decided to change schools, including all my school friends at the time, so as you can imagine, i changed too.

 

We all changed to this new school, with a lot more people, a lot more teachers, and definitely, a lot more anxiety and tribulations for me.

 

My best friend changed to night school in the middle of the year because he was playing to become a baseball player.

 

And I remember how his younger brother told me, so what will you do now that he’s changing schools? I can’t name how right was that little bastard, even if I didn’t want to admit it at the time.

 

I remember how, as soon as he left, my social circle just got away from me, because he was the reason I got a social circle at the time.

 

Well, this is not a big deal, right? i mean, just sitting alone in class is not that terrifying, actually, you should be paying attention and be occupied the whole day.

 

Well, that’s true, until you have the 45-minute lunch break, which going to it without having no one to talk to was the biggest fear for my socially anxious 14-year-old me.

 

That was my biggest fear in life at the moment.

 

t was the monster i fought every day, it wasn’t that big at the time, but it certainly was a monster for me back then.

 

It came to the point that I used to hide behind a stool in my classroom without the teachers noticing, I told everybody that it was to play video games, but I did it because I didnt want to get out to lunch break.

 

Because I had no one to sit with or to talk to

 

Because all my “friends” were playing basketball, I was so bad at it that I wouldn’t play because it was so embarrasing for me.

 

My anxiety definitely started to develop at the time. Every 20 min before lunch break, my heart would start pumping, and I would start looking for the right moment to hide behind the stool.

 

One day I got caught with another student behind he stool. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

 

Long story short, they didn’t call my parents or do anything to me; I just had a 30 min chat with the kind student counselor, who just told me that I shouldn’t do it again.

 

For the rest of the semester, my new challenge was to at least sit with someone close to me, so I had not to sit alone, and the problem was not sitting alone. The problem was that i didn’t want other people to watch me alone.

 

I somehow managed to do this every day until the most precious two months of my life came.

 

Summer break

 

Oh my god, I can finally change schools, make new friends, and everything will be fine.

 

Well, things went really, really bad.

 

The worst period of my life

 

 

So i got to my dad one day and said to him that i wanted to change schools, i obviously lied about the reason why, but I changed schools.

 

This new school was even bigger than the school I was in before.

 

But the problem was, I didnt know anyone in this school, and that was the worst thing that could happen to me.

 

The first three days were average, i talked with some people, didn’t really make the best friends in lif, but I could manage to talk to some people.

 

Then Monday came by, and suddenly, I didnt have anyone to talk to at lunchbreak, oh my fucking god, my worst nightmare is about to come true,

 

There I was, new school, with no friends, and undoubtedly became the awkward kid at this school.

 

Every day i went to school, it was like getting a taste of hell, and as every day went by, the tablespoon became bigger and bigger.

 

It was one of the most difficult times of my life. Bullying, loneliness, depression, and anxiety were my baseline state.

 

I spent the next four months being the weird kid everyone thought would bring an AK-47 to school on a random Monday morning and make a kill streak.

 

But in reality, I was just a socially anxious teenager who wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

 

Resurrection, business and moving on

 

 

One of the things that made me go through that period of dark times, was my first business.

 

Yes, I started a business at 14 years old, not a lemonade stand, not a youtube channel, but an event planning firm.

 

My dad was a powerhouse in the industry back then, so i thought i could use his resources just to get started.

 

I leveraged that, and it worked.

 

My business partner and I (also a 14-year-old) built the most successful event planning firm in the prom party niche, which is quite big in my country.

 

To some extent, it was good to just have a little revenge on my classmates. When we launched one of the strategies that got the business off the ground, which was a whole prom party plan and budget for a school prom giveaway with 500 hundred schools participating, I could see all my classmates participating in my 100k follower Instagram page, including my bullies and the girls I liked who were obviously disgusted at me.

 

A few months later, I changed from that school to the same school I was at before the first change, had 4,000 dollar months as a 15-year-old, had some friends at the new school, going to the gym, and finally got out of the most depressive and anxious chapter of my life.

 

Girls, college and discovering my real purpose.

 

As I managed to get some friends at this new school, I had a feeling that I didn’t have any, here’s what I mean.

 

Yes I had people I talked to and laughed with at school, but as soon as we left the future slave creation machine, we didnt talk or hang out outside school.

 

This was one of the first times I saw a massive problem in the social skills self-improvement landscape that any youtube channel, book or course teached.

 

You could know how to get people to like you, make people laugh, and make people admire you, but it didnt mean anything when your main goal is to have real, lasting friendships, but you didn’t know how to turn acquaintances into friends.

 

Three months before graduating from high school, Covid hit, and this problem got even worse.

 

I didnt really have a problem with not having physical contact during the pandemic because, firstly, i was living with my best friend at the time, and secondly, in the dating sense, I was still a virgin and haven’t even kissed a girl before. However, it was the thing I daydreamed about all day, every day.

 

One of the main reasons I felt lonely was because in one of the seasons of male life when you are supposed to take out your social butterfly and make tons of friends, bang tons of girls, and party every day, all universities moved to remote classes and virtual campus, so I didn’t get to go to my college campus the half of my career.

 

Once I got to college for the first time, I had a real deja vu relating to my no friends, weird kid season because as soon as I got to college, I noticed that a lot of people had made friends at the virtual lessons, almost everyone but me.

 

At first, it was tough, but it wasn’t really that bad because I was actually just going to class, taking the class, and going home, which at least was better than the school system, where I had to spend 45 minutes hanging out in lunch break.

 

At the time I got to know the red pill/self-improvement space, it blew my mind.

 

Something I didn’t realize at the time was that I had spent my whole teenage years just thinking that i couldn’t get girls, that it was impossible for me.

 

I just tought that it was something I would have handled to me on a silver platter when I started making more money, having more friends, etc.

 

But the red pill space got me to better my looks, focus on my physique, read social skills books, and develop real confidence.

 

Losing my Virginity, First Girlfriend, and Cloud 9 season.

 

Remember how I said that the school experience was the worst season I had in my life? Well, here’s the best one.

 

I was 19 years old, 6,1Ft, with my own car, 12% body fat looking athletic, going to college every day and having friends there, going out on weekends, drinking, working part-time in a job I really enjoyed and gave me some kind of status.

 

I genuinely thought it couldn’t get better…

 

Until I met my first girlfriend, a big booty 4,9 girl which was the nicest and most fun person I had ever met/

 

Well, that’s what you think when you get your first girlfriend after more than a decade of fantasizing about it.

 

For the next two months, I was living on cloud 9, I felt like a king, Iwould tell everyone I had a girlfriend, my friends would respect me more, and even my family started to see me differently.

 

Breakup, anxiety and first taste of the 9 to 5 slavery.

 

One of the things i really wanted to do at the time was to move from my parent’s house, because of two reasons:

 

1.I hated my mom.

2.I wanted to get laid.

 

Because all the businesses I made in the past ended up not working long term, i decided that i first had to get a job to get some cash flow in, become independent, and then build a business on the side.

 

Biggest mistake of my whole life.

 

My dad got me connected to one of the biggest wine and spirits firms in the country, where I could get a job basically handed on a silver platter to me, in a new product they were developing, which involved many influencer marketing campaigns.

 

The first two weeks before getting the job, I was excited as hell, i thought that I would finally make it out of my parent’s house, I would meet a ton of famous people, get a ton of status, get tons of girls back to my apartment, and live the life I have always wanted.

 

Unfortunately, you don’t know how a 9 to 5 job is until you actually get one, even if you have seen all the entrepreneurs online in the world saying is horseshit.

 

First of all, I broke up my fairy tail relationship 2 days before starting at that company.

 

But at the beginning, I thought, you know what? i will forget about this chick and focus on work

 

Three months later, I was overworked, depressed, didn’t have time to workout or to go out at night because my job consisted of nightlife because it was a licor company (but I still had to be at the office at 8:00 am every day)

 

At the time, not only was that killing me, but my first breakup was just devastating for me, to the point that I cried in front of the girl, begging her to get back (you realize soon that that is the worst thing you can do)

 

I persisted for months until I gave up, but a deep loneliness and an unhealthy sense of attachment got me.

 

I cried every day anytime I had privacy, before going to work in the morning, at lunch alone in my car, and at night I would fall into tears.